September 22nd, 2017
Overwhelmed. If I picked a word to describe every single day I have lived since all this craziness started, is that. Overwhelmed. Why? Because I am in a turmoil of feelings today and they range from sad to happy and all the shades in between.
I left Ottawa at around 2pm after I finished packing all my things and finished loading whisky. I walked around for the last time in my old apartment and felt the sadness kick in, that was the first place where I lived by myself in my entire life. Then I had the most bitter-sweet and my last “good-bye”. I had to say good-bye to my ex-husband, now one of my best friends, who I considered part of my family. He and I were together for 7 years, we met back in Ecuador, then as I was studying at university and he had to come back to Canada we had a long-distance relationship. Before I graduated I knew I wanted to leave Ecuador and go next to him. So, I applied and my papers came through and in April 2012 I arrived in Ottawa to start my life with whom I thought was going to be my “happy ever after” (yes, I do believe in fairy tales). We met when I was only 19 years old. I moved for love. However, even though things didn’t work out between us, I DID move for love. You see love changes forms and it has endless ways to be manifested.
As I said good-bye -for now- to my best friend, to my biggest support, the person that believed in me even when I didn’t, who thought I was meant for something bigger of what I was doing. That I was meant to touch people, heal people through my teachings, through sharing my knowledge, my experiences. He believed in the Teacher, the Healer I am today. I used to be very spoiled in the past. Good-byes have never been my favourite thing, I have said good-bye to too many people due to many circumstances. So, we had lunch together, walked around Parliament Hill and then I left.
Ottawa means so much to me. It was a place where I had many different experiences, I faced my demons in a raw way like fear, disappointment, heart breaks, sickness, depression, anxiety, pain. But I also found my path to teach Yoga, my passion and calling to become an Energy Healer/Coach. Even though the initial love that made me move was not anymore there, I also met love in two new ways. I met love in another person (although that love is not longer with me) and I am grateful for the love I met through this person because he brought hope back into my life. Hope is dangerous if not treated carefully as it is a blessing but can be painful too. He made me remember how to smile from my soul as I forgot how to do that but I think the most important lesson that this love taught me was to love myself fully and unconditionally.
Ottawa was my cave to deal, heal, trust, surrender and metamorphose into who I am now, the best version of myself (2.8). It was the place where I started to remove the masks I have long used to protect myself from the triggers, issues, events in my past. The biggest of all: abandonment. Ottawa was my cocoon, my caterpillar before I could transform and start spreading my wings. Ottawa taught me the biggest lesson in my life “it is not always what you want but always what you need”. I wouldn’t trade or change anything that I have lived because every single one of those moments, were and are a lesson. Ottawa made me open my eyes to hold myself accountable for my actions and be proactive about the way my life was going. The most beautiful and painful moments in my life up to now where lived there. One word I will carry with me is RESILIENCE but I think the most important thing that Ottawa brought me was the people I have met there, my closest friends, my students, my community. I was very lucky to have met people that gave me the opportunity to start my career as a Yoga Teacher and the students that decided to share their practice and time with me. The friends that have become my chosen family, they are always with me. Ottawa gave me the opportunity to create possibilities and go after them, knowing that whatever they are I can accomplish them without hesitation. For that I am beyond grateful. For that Ottawa will have a special place in my heart ❤️.
What is next? No idea, but I will create something extraordinary and amazing. There are plenty of blank pages and I have the quill of my life. I chose Vancouver for different reasons, because I felt in love of it in 2013; because for my own well being I need the ocean next to me, it connects me back to my home country, to my roots and the most important reason why I picked Vancouver is because it has my favourite view in the entire world: the horizon.
My first stop is in Richards Landing, nearly 8 hours driving. I found this place through Airbnb, it is a beautiful property that they call the Eden. Nancy and Ben were my hosts and it was a lovely experience. Hot tea in the night and a very tasty muffin in the morning prepared by Nancy.
How was the road? Well, here is the reason why is called this blogpost “the enchanted forest”. If you know Ontario or have ever done a road trip, then you know that it takes almost 3 full days of driving around 8-9 hours to leave the freaking province. Don’t get me wrong, Ontario is gorgeous but believe me when I say that the only things you see are trees, lakes and rocks. When I say trees, I mean TREES. Tall big pines. The view was breathtaking as the fall colours start to accentuate into the leaves of different species of trees. Peaceful lakes and romantic hills. Then at around 8pm when the road is dark a lightning lit up the entire landscape, from that moment and the next 35 minutes the most insane thunderstorm starts to happen. I love rain and I love thunderstorms, I even love driving in the rain but this was beyond my area of expertise. The rain was so heavy that it was a challenge look over a couple meters in front of the car, the wind was brutal that made you hold dearly to the steering wheel and my only thought was to pray that I would arrive safe and sound. After those 35 minutes of living hell -honestly, the gods and goddess of the Olympus were in a monumental war up there- calm. Silence. Nothing. The only sound was the wind hitting gently against the windshield. I arrived closer to 11pm.
Oh yes, reason why the enchanted forest. Well, if you have plenty of imagination and you are a day dreamer like I am, then you can easily get lost in letting your imagination go wild and create thousands of stories that could happen in that forest, from wizards and princes to witches and princess having their own time in there. Also, the place where I stayed my first night was a lovely house with plenty of forest around.
For now, that is it.
Have a lovely day my pretties ?